I lost my children because I was a victim ...part 2

by Debbie
(Buffalo ny)

Ultimately I lost my fight.The judge's exact words were "If you can't protect yourself...you can't protect your children...parental rights are terminated " Even though Bill Clinton passed a law saying that if children are in foster care for 21 months ...they are eligible for adoption,I fought,going to Albany 3 times in 3 years to try to have a chance.My lawyer says my case wasn't handled right by the court from the start.My children weren't allowed to go with family that consists of teachers,lawyers,engineers and just plain everyday good people...because they said my ex would find them.I swear ,if anything I overcompensated for my children with love and nurturing...they were never neglected or abused. But I was !!! and I understand that it wasn't in their best interest,but I was finally FREE !!!!It wasn't right . Well after not being with him and losing my children...I wanted to die,so I went back and prayed that he would kill me to end my pain. God wouldn't take me...I would be beaten,stabbed,strangled and starved to within an inch of life and I would go on forever it seemed ....in my own private Hell ! One day I was praying and had a revelation...I decided to get away and get help so that one day I can see my children again. I escaped with the help of a chilhood friend.She took me in and I never looked back.It's been hard...counselling and support groups have helped so much.It's a long hard road ...but I'm going to make it.I will NOT let abuse kill me !